


Set My Heart On Fire

by lovingremus



Series: The Library Boy Universe [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Muggle, Crushes, Fluff, M/M, Mental Health Issues, POV Alternating, Texting, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:08:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27135709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovingremus/pseuds/lovingremus
Summary: Sirius and Remus have just had their first date, and everything went almost too well. Sirius would love to go out with him again. He is not sure if Remus feels the same way.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: The Library Boy Universe [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1786093
Comments: 19
Kudos: 95





	1. one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never wrote the characters any broad backgrounds when I started this fic series (because it was supposed to be a oneshot only) so now that I add to their stories, some details might not add up. I’ll try my best to tie new ideas to my previous writing at least somehow so things wouldn’t just appear out of nowhere without any kind of foreshadowing whatsoever.  
> Hopefully that won’t bother anyone too much! <33
> 
> TW for chapter one: mild anxiety

**\- Sirius -**

For the rest of the night, Sirius kept glancing over his shoulder in an attempt to catch one of the hidden cameras because he _must’ve_ been in a movie. He kept pinching himself, trying to wake himself up, because he _must’ve_ been dreaming.

The date with Remus had gone better than he could’ve ever hoped for, and it had only been their first.

Sirius wasn’t sure how long they had spent on that rooftop, him teaching Remus constellations and snogging some more until they had been too stiff from the cold. They had walked back hand in hand, and Remus had escorted him to his door. He had promised to text Sirius goodnight, but Sirius had beaten him to it. Remus’s response had ended with a star emoji. It became Sirius’s favourite.

Sirius threw himself on his bed, legs dangling over the edge. It was two in the morning. He’d spent a long time texting James and Regulus, telling them _everything_ , never receiving a response because James just happened to be one of a handful of people Sirius had ever known with a sensible sleeping schedule, and Regulus… well, he wasn’t sure if his little brother _ever_ slept, but he also didn’t like to waste time on a phone as he always got “something better to do.”

Sirius stared at the dark ceiling. He felt oddly empty. Not a bit tired, just battling an urge to talk to someone. But apart from his brothers, the only person he felt like talking to was Remus, and he, too, would be asleep by now. He had a school day ahead — they both had — and Sirius didn’t want to deprive him of sleep.

Three in the morning. Sirius gave up on trying to fall asleep, uncertain why he’d ever expected it to happen in the first place. It wasn’t up to him. He got up for long enough to fetch something from the small paper bag he’d left on the kitchen table when he’d come home, and curled right back on the bed a book in his hands. He put on a white noise playlist and continued to read the novel Remus had chosen for him earlier.

A few hours and a full packet of tissues later, after finally falling asleep cradling the book against his chest, Sirius woke up to an alarm, and an email informing him his classes for the day had been cancelled due to heavy snowfall overnight.

He’d also received two texts.

Considering he’d sent James at least fifteen paragraphs, him responding only with “ _LOL you’re SO smitten_ ” felt almost criminal. Regulus still hadn’t answered — Sirius hadn’t expected him to.

The other text was from Remus.

_6.01 AM (Remus): Morning. Hope you slept well._

_8.05 AM (Sirius): good morninggg_

_8.05 AM (Sirius): uh well quality over quantity_

_8.05 AM (Sirius): HA i mean not saying that the quality was good either but,, was better. but i hope you slept okay_

_8.05 AM (Sirius): schools are closed today seems like_

Sirius fell back asleep a moment later, waking up with a jolt to his phone beeping loudly against his cheek.

_9.46 AM (Remus): Sorry, I was in class. So, my school is still open… You have a snow day? For real?_

_9.47 AM (Sirius): yep i’m not complaining haha_

_9.47 AM (Sirius): sorry for u tho :((_

_9.47 AM (Sirius): have a nice day okay_

_9.47 AM (Remus): I’ll try to. You too._

_9.48 AM (Remus): You actually have a chance at it now, yeah?_

_9.48 AM (Remus): Class is starting. Kill me. Ttyl._

_9.49 AM (Sirius): ttyl??? did you just use an abbreviation? o m g_

_9.49 AM (Remus): Stfu._

Sirius furrowed his brows.

Remus had been right about one thing earlier. A movie date, or anything too similar where they wouldn’t have got to talk, would’ve served no purpose for them.

Remus Lupin was a fascinating personality, charming in a way Sirius had never thought of anyone before, and he wouldn’t want to miss out on anything. He wanted to spend time with him, learn all his favourite things and what he couldn’t stand. He wanted to know what bands Remus grew up listening to and if he had any embarrassing elementary school relationship stories.

Sirius stretched, enjoying the feeling of his joints popping after a night shifting between multiple very non-ergonomic positions. He imagined waking up next to Remus. The already wild curls mussed from sleep. Eyes looking even more melancholy than usual, eyelids too heavy to keep open, blankets pulled over his head to block the sunlight. He imagined kissing his lips and whispering sweet good mornings.

In other words, Sirius Black _was_ smitten, and he didn’t need James to tell him that.

He was smitten… but he wasn’t sure if Remus was feeling the same way.

He’d seemed to have a good time last night. He’d laughed a lot, he’d talked endlessly, and Sirius had been certain it had all been perfect for both of them.

But on his morning texts, Remus had sounded so _distant_. Sirius knew him well enough to tell his last message had been a joke, but the fact that Remus was only _trying_ to have a nice day didn’t come across promising.

Sirius stared at the messages, mind going through all the possible reasons Remus might not be feeling well.

Maybe he hadn’t been able to sleep either and was just tired. Maybe it was his least favourite day of the week.

 _Maybe_ this was Sirius’s fault. Maybe he had done something wrong last night, something that Remus hadn’t felt comfortable mentioning to his face.

Could that really be possible? Sirius chewed his lip. He wanted to call him, make sure everything was okay. But he couldn’t call. Remus was in class. He texted him “ _you okay?_ ” and puppy pictures instead. He had dozens of them saved on his phone just for situations like this.

Sirius spent the morning working on a paper for school and finishing up an article for work, flipping between playlists and snacking whenever he was about to lose focus. His thoughts kept slipping to Remus and his gloomy texts.

Remus had answered to his pictures with a thumbs up and two simple heart emojis near noon. Sirius decided it wasn’t reassuring enough.

When Sirius turned in his last assignment of the day a couple of hours later, he had already thought of a plan. He rushed into the bathroom to pull his dark hair on two perfect buns on the top of his head and changed out of his pyjamas.

He pulled on his leather jacket and a long, grey scarf, handmade by none other than Euphemia Potter. He wouldn’t have Remus’s arm wrapped around his shoulders to keep him warm this time.

He was going to surprise him.

Remus’s classes would end at three. After pining after the boy since the moment he’d first seen him in early January, Sirius had learned to remember his comings and goings by heart. He would arrive at the library shortly before five on Mondays and Thursdays. At three o’clock on the other days. On Wednesdays. Today.

On his way, Sirius dropped by an optician to pick up a new package of contact lenses, though now that he knew Remus thought he looked good in his glasses, he might just start wearing those more often.

The icy sidewalk was slippery under his high-heeled boots, and Sirius had to seek support from streetlamps as he slowly made his way toward the downtown.

Sirius arrived at the library carrying two large disposable coffee cups from a small café a few blocks away. He pushed the heavy door of the main entrance open with his shoulder. He settled on Remus’s chair, making sure he would find him when he’d come. The clock on the wall told him Remus’s classes had ended a few minutes ago. It would take him a few more to get there.

He wasn’t worried about the chance of Remus not showing up. Considering how the boy hadn’t missed a day for the past couple of months, it was pretty much taken he’d be there.

Soon Sirius noticed he was being gingerly approached. Remus looked sweet in his ridiculously thick winter coat, and he was gaping at Sirius like he’d never seen him before, or maybe blown away by the pure audacity of anyone stealing his very own spot at the table.

“What are you doing here?” He asked as soon as he got within hearing distance, pulling the zipper of his coat down, revealing a fluffy maroon hoodie underneath.

“What a ray of sunshine you are. Figured you’d come here. You didn’t sound too chipper on your texts, so…” Sirius tapped his finger on the lid of Remus’s cup. “I thought I’d bring you coffee.”

Remus blinked. He pulled out a chair for himself, hanging his coat on the backrest. “I thought it was my turn to get you something.”

Sirius felt the smile drain from his face, and he hunched his shoulders, leaning back on his chair. Remus looked alarmed.

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry, didn’t mean to sound so — I’m sorry. I’m just so tired. It was super thoughtful of you, really.” He peeked under the lid and smiled at the creamy colour. “Perfect. Thank you, Sirius. But I’m definitely going to pay you back for this.”

“You’re definitely not,” Sirius said. “So, not a good day? You don’t sound right.”

“I’m okay. Just all the worst classes today. There’s this one professor, Mr Greyback, he’s an asshole, he makes me seriously consider dropping off.” Remus took a huge gulp of the coffee, then scrunched his nose. “ _Fuck_. How much sugar is in this thing?”

“Just the normal amount,” Sirius said frowning. He’d made it to the coffee shop before he’d realised he didn’t know how Remus preferred his coffee, and he’d ended up ordering it in the same way he always had his own. “Is it that bad?”

“I suppose it’s drinkable.” He raised the cup on his lips again but then grimaced, shook his head and set it steadily on the table. “Why didn’t you text me and ask?”

“I wanted to surprise you.”

Remus’s eyes softened. “Well, you did. But just for the future, I drink my coffee with no sugar at all — this amount of milk is fine.”

“I’ll remember that,” Sirius muttered. He watched Remus unpack a bunch of notebooks and loose pencils on the table. “Speaking of the future — I wanted to talk to you. About us.”

“Oh,” Remus furrowed his eyebrows, pulling his laptop from his bag. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sirius said quickly. “I just wanted to make sure that you… well… _I_ had a great time with you last night...”

“So did I,” Remus said.

“Okay, good, that’s good.” Sirius felt a little more hopeful. He took a deep breath. “But I was just wondering if we’re on the same page on what’s gonna happen now. If you want to keep doing this. Dates, you know, _romantic_ stuff... Or if you wanna be just friends—”

“Sirius,” Remus said, his tone now highly amused. “ _I_ kissed _you_ last night. Multiple times. And _I_ texted you the first thing in the morning. You’re more than a friend, and I would really want to keep doing this.” He smiled warmly, and Sirius couldn’t help but smile back, a wave of relief washing over him.

“Which remind me…” Remus continued, now sounding far less confident, biting his lip. “It’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow.”

Sirius nearly choked on his coffee. He’d remembered. Of course he had. He definitely hadn’t expected Remus to bring it up right now. “I — I know,” he said between coughs.

“So?”

“So — so what?”

“You know what.”

Sirius quirked an eyebrow. “Are you trying to ask me on a date, Remus Lupin?”

“Depends on your answer.”

“Clever comeback,” Sirius smirked.

Remus was fidgeting with one of his pencils. “Or do you think twice within a week from starting to talk to each other is too much?”

“What do you think I’m still doing here?” Sirius asked. “If anything, twice a week isn’t enough. We could hang out today too if you just want to.”

A faint blush rose on Remus’s face, and he blinked, taken aback. “Sirius, I’d like that, but I have other plans. I’m gonna be here only for an hour, and I should probably start doing my homework.”

He looked genuinely sorry, and Sirius, though feeling mildly disappointed, offered him a smile.

“It’s okay,” he said, getting up from his seat. “I’ll let you study in peace, then.”

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous, you’re not going anywhere,” Remus said, gently grabbing Sirius by the wrist and pulling him back down. “I said I’ve got an hour. You can sit here with me, even though I have to work. And we can walk home together, that’s fifteen more minutes for us.”

Since Sirius didn’t have any of his schoolwork with him, he spent the hour leafing through Remus’s textbooks and admiring Remus writing his notes. It was fun to watch his handwriting gradually getting bigger and sloppier as his hand started to get more tired.

Remus suggested he should borrow a book and start reading it. Sirius told him he already had a bunch of library fines waiting to be paid and that his account would be blocked until then.

“I never remember to take the books with me to return them,” he said.

“Yeah, must be difficult. You come here so rarely,” Remus grinned from behind his laptop.

“Fuck you,” Sirius grumbled, giving himself away as the corners of his mouth twitched against his best attempts. Remus winked.

He was so good at that. Making Sirius’s brain feel like mush, that is, only with that simple gesture.

An hour later, Sirius helped Remus to pack his things and offered him his hand when they walked out the door.

Remus took it.

“I read the poem book,” Remus said, standing beside him on traffic lights. Though they’d been outside only for a minute, the tip of his nose had already started to turn pink. Sirius wondered if that was something that always happened. It’d been impossible to tell last night — though it had been several degrees colder, it had also been too dark. “Well, most of it. Helped me to get through classes today.”

Sirius smiled. He was moving in careful little steps again, cursing his shoes under his breath. If he fell over now, Remus’s mitten-covered hand in his, he’d pull the boy right with him.

“Did you continue your book?”

“Fuck,” Sirius gasped. “ _Yes_ , I read the whole thing. It was so good. And _so_ sad. I gave myself a sore throat from crying.”

“Fair,” Remus said. “Who was your favourite, Rufus or Mateo?”

“Man, that’s _not_ fair. I loved them both. But I think Mateo was…”

They tried to walk slow but arrived at Sirius’s home street way too soon, and even when Remus stopped for ten more minutes to talk at the intersection, their conversation was cut short.

“I really need to go now,” Remus said, glancing down at his phone. “My thing starts in half an hour, and I don’t want to be late.”

“Yeah, okay,” Sirius said. “I’m sorry for stalling you. Can I — uh — call you tonight? Do you have time?”

“I think so. I’ll text you?”

“Sounds good.” Sirius raised his hand to a wave, slowly moving backwards. “See ya. Thanks for the company.”

“See you. Thanks for the disgusting coffee.”

Sirius flipped him off. Remus blew him a kiss.

**_\- Remus -_ **

He didn’t know why he’d been too afraid to admit Sirius where he was really going.

He knew he shouldn’t be ashamed of his anxiety.

He _wasn’t_ , really. His therapist had said he’d made a lot of progress. They might even start to consider reducing his medication soon.

Sirius was caring. He was _so_ caring, and Remus nearly felt like crying because he liked him _so_ much and didn’t know what he’d done to deserve someone checking on him like that, only for sounding a bit off over a couple of text messages.

Sirius seemed like someone who would understand. And Remus knew if he wanted to keep doing this with him, if he was lucky enough to have it lead somewhere, he would eventually have to tell him.

He just didn’t know when.

His therapy session had only taken an hour, but even after making himself dinner (microwaving takeaway leftovers) and finishing his schoolwork, it still wasn’t very late, and Remus kept pushing texting Sirius as far as he could.

He felt guilty for doing so but felt worse thinking Sirius might ask where he’d been. While he wasn’t ready to tell him the truth, he didn’t want to lie, either.

_9.22 PM (Remus): Hi, I’m sorry, I can’t call anymore, I have to go to sleep. Very early classes. Sorry for the late notice._

_9.22 PM (Sirius): hiii that’s alright!!_

_9.22 PM (Remus): You sure?_

_9.22 PM (Sirius): yeah of course,, hope all is okay though!! goodnight <3 _

_9.22 PM (Remus): All ok. Goodnight!_

_9.23 PM (Sirius): wait re_

_9.24 PM (Sirius): u still there?_

_9.28 PM (Remus): Yeah?_

_9.28 PM (Sirius): we never ended this conversation properly but_

_9.28 PM (Sirius): i’d love to go on a date with you tomorrow_

Remus ended up tossing and turning and grinning at his phone for hours, opening their chat over and over again just to stare at Sirius’s message.

Sirius would love to go on another date with him. He’d _love_ to.

Remus giggled out loud.

Oh, how smitten he was.


	2. two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for the chapter: mild anxiety

**_\- Remus -_ **

Despite only getting a couple of hours of sleep (even after skipping his first class to rest a little longer) Remus felt a little better when he finally scrambled out of the bed in the morning.

He had woken up to a bunch of messages from Sirius, most of them selfies of him rolling his eyes so hard only the whites of his eyes were visible. It appeared he was back at school again. Remus responded to him after sitting down in his own classroom, sending him a picture of himself hiding under a beanie and large headphones.

They spent the whole morning texting, sending each other their timetables and agreeing to meet at six o’clock after their school days were over. Sirius would be lucky enough to finish his classes at three, but Remus would be stuck until quarter to five, giving him roughly an hour’s time to get ready in the evening.

Remus tried not to think how he only had eight hours left to plan out the whole night. Only now did he realise how difficult it must have been for Sirius to come up with a lovely plan—especially after Remus had first ruled out so many options right to the poor boy’s face. He tried not to think about it, wishing he hadn’t come across as a total jerk.

Still, even with the self-doubt kicking in, Remus was giddy. He knew he wouldn’t get too much work done today, barely being able to sit still. He pulled out one of his notebooks and turned a blank page.

Excluding fancy dinners and movies left a lot on the table, but Sirius had done so well with his own activity choices Remus didn’t know how to compete with it. He wondered if he should ask Sirius if there was anything _he_ definitely didn’t want to do.

He asked. Sirius’s instant response (“anything’s fine!”) just made him feel more pressured. He had hoped Sirius would nudge him into the right direction, even if it was by closing poor options out. He sighed, doodling little bubbles on the corner of the page.

He wanted to do something he could be sure they both would enjoy. Something sweet, and something entertaining. Something imaginative, like Sirius’s bookstore thing.

Remus ended up scrolling through their past conversations, trying to seek out every little detail Sirius had revealed about himself to give him inspiration. The messages from last weekend caught his eyes, their first full conversations, when Sirius had gotten drunk with the messy-haired friend of his and entertained Remus throughout the night. He bit his cheeks, trying not to laugh out loud at some of the messages.

Though the texts weren’t too helpful in the way he’d hoped for, there was one thing that they reminded him of, something Remus might have overlooked otherwise.

Sirius was really, _really_ fun. He was laid-back and open, and for that reason would probably be up for anything Remus suggested. He really wished to show Sirius that side of himself, too, even though it might mean stepping out of his own comfort zone.

Remus bit on the pencil, jotting down some options. He looked out of the window, admiring the snow glimmering in the cold, wintry sunlight. It was already melting at a steady pace.

He still needed something. What did Sirius _like_? Music, writing, literature. Art, though Sirius had strongly emphasized he was not knowledgeable about it. But he’d once said he’d love to learn. Maybe…

He wrote some more, scratching over the previous ideas.

Remus’s afternoon classes demanded more participation, and he could only text Sirius during the lunch breaks, which made the remaining hours pass painfully slowly. When the clock finally fit 4:45, Remus swung his backpack on one shoulder and half-ran out of the classroom. He dialled Sirius’s number as soon as he got out of the building.

“Hey,” Sirius picked up quickly, his voice bright.

“Hi,” Remus said, a sense of calm starting to fill him. “How was your day?”

Sirius blew raspberries to the speaker. “Boring. You’re not the only one with some dickheads as teachers. How about yours?”

“Uh, kind of draining toward the end. We had group projects half of the day, I’m so done with people for today.”

“Oh.” The line fell silent for a second. “We can do this some other day, you know,” Sirius’s voice suggested.

“What?” Remus grasped his phone tighter, his face heating. “No, I didn’t mean—of course I’m still going out with you today! _You’re_ not tiring to be with. You’re the opposite.”

“Oh,” Sirius said again, this time sounding rather pleased. “Oh, that’s good then. Okay, so, what are we doing today? Is six o’clock still alright?”

“Yeah. Hey, got to ask, are you hungry? I was thinking we could go eat somewhere later, but there’s other stuff I’ve planned for us before that, and I just thought that if you are, you should maybe grab something now… But if it’s too sudden, we can go eat first if you want—”

“Remus, it’s cool,” Sirius laughed. “I’m not too hungry, but I’ll grab a snack just in case. Thanks for letting me know.”

“Okay.” Remus was walking so fast he was almost halfway home already. He would definitely have to eat something. “I’ll pick you up at six. Or like, not with a car or anything, I don’t have a car. I’ll just come to you. And we’ll go.”

Sirius laughed again. “Okay,” he confirmed. “Can’t wait.”

*

Remus vividly remembered the first time he had stood waiting behind this door, all nervous with Sirius’s laptop in his backpack. He wasn’t carrying a bag of any kind now, having fit everything essential in his pockets instead. He wouldn’t be needing much at this point. His phone, wallet, and keys were plenty.

He shivered in his ripped jeans, ringing Sirius’s doorbell for the third time now, thinking just how miserable it would be to get stood up like that on Valentine’s Day. He was just about to start banging on the door when he heard someone fiddle with the lock and the door opened slightly, just enough for Sirius to peer out at him.

“Remus J. Lupin,” he said, slowly, looking almost surprised to see him there. Remus realised he must’ve woken him up—he was squinting his eyes, trying to get used to the brightness, though the sun had set a while ago. “You’re damn early.”

Remus smirked. “It’s ten past six, I’m late if anything.”

“Can’t be already.” Sirius turned to glance behind him. “Oh, _fuck_. Come in, I’ll only need a moment, I swear.”

The door flung open, and Remus stepped inside. Only by the view opening from the door, Remus could estimate Sirius’s apartment was at least three times the size of his own. He could see a part of the living room, with large couches and a bit surprisingly, several plants in mismatched pots and vases. Sirius decorations had no coherent style, but it all fit well together. Remus wondered if he’d ever get a proper invite to the place.

Sirius ran around the apartment, looking for stuff he kept misplacing, a toothbrush in his mouth and wearing only one shoe. “Sorry, sorry,” he muttered every time he speeded past Remus, cheeks getting redder. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep, I lost the track of time.”

Remus just chuckled, until Sirius finally calmed down and pulled on a grey wool coat and the other shoe. Remus watched his hair slide down his shoulders when he hung his head to tie the laces.

“I should stop embarrassing myself whenever you appear to my doorstep.”

“Please don’t,” Remus teased. “You look great.”

Sirius looked up, blinking before smiling. “Thanks. You too.”

Remus’s neck heated, and he cleared his throat. “So, uh, I have got a couple of things in mind for tonight. I just hope you don’t think they are lame or anything.”

“Hey, I have full faith in you,” Sirius said. “Am I getting any hints?”

“Well, first you get to see me in a full nerd mode.”

“See, even that sounds fantastic. Do elaborate.”

“Do you know the little modern art museum near the library?”

Sirius gasped, clinging to Remus’s arm. “Yes! I’ve actually been wanting to go there!”

“Really? You have never?”

“I have, but that was like a year ago, and they’ve just had a huge renovation—I didn’t know it was open already! I would’ve taken _you_ there!”

Remus smiled all the way to the museum.

*

The museum was almost empty. Remus had known to expect that, even counted on it. He wanted to spend the night with Sirius and Sirius only, for as long as it was possible.

He paid for the tickets. The middle-aged reception worker’s eyes lingered on Remus’s face uncomfortably as she handed him two paper wristbands. Remus quickly brushed his hand through his hair, pulling his curls down to his forehead, thanking her nevertheless.

Sirius, luckily, didn’t seem to have noticed anything. Remus handed him the green wristband, tying a pink one on his own wrist.

“These used to come in black and white before,” Sirius said.

Remus shrugged. “Probably because of this month’s exhibition.” They directed their steps toward the first room. “Want to know what is special about it?”

“Yeah?”

“Everything in here is made by LGBTQ+ artists.”

Sirius’s jaw dropped. “No way, that’s _so_ cool!”

Remus smirked, “I thought you would like it.” He didn’t mention he had been to the same exhibition a few days earlier. But as he had liked it a lot, and planned to visit again anyway, it was all better to share the experience with _somebody_ he really liked, too. Plus, now he could tell Sirius everything he had learned about the art on the guided tour he had joined on his first visit.

The museum wasn’t big, though, and it didn’t take them very long to do a whole round—even with Sirius stopping to give his amateur analysis on every piece.

Remus took in everything Sirius said just as eagerly as Sirius absorbed Remus’s info dumps. It was adorable listening to Sirius ramble, telling him what he liked and what he still wondered.

The art varied from sculptures to paintings to new media art, but both of their favourite was a series of photographs taking up a whole wall, gradually changing from black and white to colour. It appeared as a timeline of the lives of two people, only the old-fashioned photos were the ones in colour and the modern ones in grayscale.

They entered the last room, which was a big artwork itself—every surface was painted in colourful shapes, creating optical illusions that still made Remus feel floaty though it wasn’t his first time witnessing it. Light music was playing from the speakers in one corner, undoubtedly part of the experience.

They sat on a round sofa in the middle of the room, leaning back and sinking deeper into the swirly feeling. Dim lights were flickering around, making it all of it become more alive.

“Do you want to move on?” Remus asked, glancing beside him, where Sirius laid his head on the backrest. “Is this making you too dizzy?”

“Nah, I’m good, this one’s neat,” Sirius said. They sat in silence for a moment. “You don’t have a job, right?” Sirius asked suddenly. Remus felt himself blush.

“No,” he said. “Haven’t found anything yet, there’s not too much available in this town. I’m managing with loans and savings for now. I’m looking whenever I can though…”

“It’s okay, I didn’t mean it like that,” Sirius said softly. “I was just thinking if you’ve considered applying to be a tour guide here. Seems like something you’d enjoy.”

Remus smirked. “I think you need an actual degree for that.”

“Bummer,” Sirius sighed. “You’d be so amazing.”

*

“What’s next?”

“You’ll find out soon enough.”

“Where are we?”

Remus was feeling a tiny bit jittery, walking Sirius to the middle of a snow-covered lawn between three yellow apartment buildings, and pointed at a small window on the second floor of the building to their left.

“I live right there,” he said. Sirius had never seen it before, even from the outside—it was Remus who always passed by Sirius’s place on his way home. “In case you want to come and serenade me some night. _Not really_ ,” he added as Sirius grinned mischievously. “I have _just_ made peace with my neighbour upstairs, she has a super hearing, I swear, and she would never forgive me.”

“Don’t worry.” Sirius winked. “Cool, so, um, are we going there now?”

“Ah, no.”

“Then… where?”

Remus spread his arms, gesturing to where they were already standing. Sirius looked confused.

“What are we supposed to do here?”

Remus had ditched the idea so many times in his mind, but somehow the thought had popped back time after time. He had had a backup plan in case he would’ve come to second thoughts, but it was too late now, and damn it—Remus Lupin could be fun and easy-going, too.

“We are going to build a snowman.”

 _You’re so stupid_ , Remus thought as soon as the words left his mouth, _Sirius thinks you’re so childish, this is embarrassing_ … He was deeply regretting the whole thing already, wishing he would have stuck with going to the ice rink near the town’s elementary school. It was probably packed, especially tonight, but at least it would’ve been cute and _normal_...

But then he watched the black-haired boy lean down, and just like that, scoop snow on his gloves to make the first snowball. He looked up at Remus, smiling lopsidedly. “Well I’m not doing this alone, am I?”

Neither of them spoke much as they worked—only sharing little remarks and laughs. The layer of snow was so thin they had to move largely over the area to roll big enough snowballs for a decent snowman. Remus still felt a little ashamed, but the feeling eased every time he glanced over at Sirius, who was on his knees in the snow, patching uneven spots on his snowball with such concentration.

They hauled their snowballs near one another, piling them on top of each other. The wet snow was very easy to build with, and it was actually very nice, working with Sirius on something so mindless.

Always until Sirius smashed a snowball right to his neck. Remus cried out, cold water dripping down his skin all the way to his stomach and lower back. He flinched at the feeling, trying to rub his clothes to dry it.

“You ass!”

Sirius was far by the time Remus got on his feet, a snowball in his own hand. He started to chase the smaller boy, throwing the ball at him with all his might as soon as he got close enough. Sirius blocked the attack with his hands, laughing.

For a minute, they chased each other with whatever snow they could find in their hands. Sirius had a good aim, and he was faster, but Remus was stronger, and if he hit, he also hit hard. He surprised Sirius by grabbing the snowman’s head and throwing it while Sirius was bent down to make another snowball. It hit Sirius’s side, knocking the unsuspecting boy down. Remus snorted at the pretentious hurt look Sirius was giving him.

“I won,” Remus said, offering his hand to help Sirius up.

“It was a cowardly attack,” Sirius frowned. “I wasn’t ready!”

“You started the whole thing!”

“You won, just this once,” Sirius said, pointing a finger. “But there will be revenge.”

“I’m terrified,” Remus deadpanned. Sirius stuck his tongue out at him, and Remus laughed.

They were still breathing hard when they turned back to face the snowman. It was ready—as ready as it could get, tilted a little forward and having different sized hands. There was no more snow left to use for it.

“Well, that was it then,” Remus said quietly. He looked at Sirius expectantly, hoping he’d say something, but was met by a nearly shocked expression on his face.

“Aren’t you going to give him a _face_ , you monster?”

Remus laughed, shrugging. “Any ideas what to use for it? There is not much to work with here.”

“Well…” Sirius patted his torso up and down. “I sometimes have random shit in my pockets, let’s see,” he dug his hands into various pockets. “I haven’t used this jacket for months… A coin for an eye? Or—” Sirius’s eyes widened as his fingers found something, and he cracked into laughter. “This! You’re gonna love this!”

Sirius extended his arm to show Remus what rested on his palm. A pair of fake eyelashes. Remus’s mouth twitched.

“You wear those?” His voice squeaked funnily. Even the thought of Sirius in those lashes, batting his moony eyes at him, made him feel weak from the knees.

“Why of course,” Sirius said, already sticking the lashes on the headless snowman’s upper body. “Whenever I want to look pretty.”

“You know you’re pretty even without.”

Sirius blessed him with a shining smile.

Remus leaned down again too, scanning the ground for something to use to make the face. They managed to find enough sticks and pinecones to give the snowman eyes and a wonky smile. The fake eyelashes definitely gave the creation a unique look, but being two-feet tall and shapeless, it was pathetic having been made by two twenty-year-olds.

Despite this, Sirius looked satisfied. He leaned his back to Remus’s chest, and Remus wrapped his arms around him. It had already become a common position for them, a very natural and comfortable one.

“We made a baby,” Sirius whispered. Remus coughed out a laugh.

“That’s definitely not how I intended this.”

“But we still got wet and sweaty in the process.”

“Oh my God.”

“And now we’ve got to name him.”

Remus laid his chin on top of Sirius’s head. “I’m terrible with names,” he said. “He deserves something pretty and strong, but I can’t come up with anything.”

Sirius hummed, thinking. “How about Leonardo?”

“Leonardo, like da Vinci?”

“Nerd. Like DiCaprio. If you tell me you never had a crush on him growing up you’re lying.”

Remus smiled shyly. “I don’t know, I was more into Ezra Miller myself. But Leonardo is a fine name.”

Sirius turned around in Remus’s arms, tilting his chin up. Remus flushed, loosening his grip a bit to give Sirius a chance to pull back and their eyes could meet properly. He had expected Sirius to try to go for a kiss, but instead, he just stood there, examining his face closely before a broad smile rose onto his lips. Remus raised an eyebrow. He wished he knew what was going through the boy’s head.

“Remus?”

“Yeah?”

“Happy Valentine’s Day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just note that I know exactly zero things about art or anything related--the described artworks are not any real ones and I have no idea what I was writing about anyway
> 
> Also, we all know how Sirius looks a bit like Ezra Miller for his long black locks, but this universe's Remus as a young Leo, only freckled and curly-haired and amber-eyed? Hmm maybe...


	3. three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for this chapter: homophobia, mild physical and verbal harassment, talk about past injury

**_\- Sirius -_ **

“Sorry about this,” Sirius said, rubbing the back of his neck. “The line usually goes fast. We should get in just in a minute.”

“It’s alright,” Remus assured with a smile. They were standing in a line to a restaurant downtown, only having a small cluster of people in front of them.

Sirius had suggested the place.

“I thought I would ask you where you want to go, you know the town so much better,” Remus had said when they’d started discussing their plans for the rest of the night after the snowman activity. He had looked embarrassed, not having been able to do the choice himself, but Sirius understood. Remus hadn’t lived in the area for too long, and Sirius would gladly help Remus get familiar with his beloved little town. This place, that they both had settled on, was popular and always packed with people, but they served the tastiest burgers Sirius had ever had.

The line inched forward, letting in the group in front of them. Sirius kept glancing at Remus, who was rubbing his hands together to keep warm, his nose getting rosy again.

It was a struggle trying to keep his eyes off of him, but he simply wasn’t getting enough. They’d both taken ten minutes to run to their homes and change into dry clothes after the snowman, and Remus had switched his jeans to green check trousers and a brown turtleneck sweater, which was not helping Sirius’s case the slightest.

Remus caught his eyes when they were finally let in and grinned happily. They found an empty table near the bar counter in the middle of the dining hall.

“This place seems cool,” Remus said, watching Sirius strip off his jacket and throw it over the backrest of his chair.

“Trust me, it only gets better,” Sirius said, sitting down. He reached for the stack of menus propped up between the napkin holders. He handed one toward Remus, but the boy wasn’t sitting down, just turning his head from one side to another. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just have to use the restroom.”

“Oh, that’s in the back, you should see a sign when you walk past that pillar,” Sirius pointed into the right direction. “Do you want me to order anything to start with?”

“No, I’ll be back in a second. Watch my stuff?”

“Of course.”

Remus raised his hand to a quick peace sign and left. Sirius watched him until he was sure he’d found the right place—he pulled his phone out of his pocket, scrolling through his notifications of the past couple of hours. He hadn’t wanted to be rude and check it too much with Remus around, but now he took a minute to respond to a work email and a few Instagram comments before opening his messages app and the chat with Regulus.

Sirius bit his lip. The messages still remained unopened.

When it came to Regulus, Sirius would’ve been satisfied enough being left on read. He didn’t expect his brother to have too much to say about his gay storytimes. But to be completely ignored for _this_ long wasn’t as usual, though it happened. Sirius just wished it was him being busy and nothing worse. Regulus still lived with their parents, after all. Maybe he should try to call him later, just in case. Though Regulus was the last person in the world to accept a call, even when he was perfectly okay.

“Who’s the lucky girl?”

Sirius looked up, blinking. Someone, a brunette girl he didn’t know, was seating herself on Remus’s chair.

“Sorry?”

“You’re texting somebody.”

“Oh.” Sirius clicked his phone off. “No, it was just my brother.”

Sirius wished he’d lied—the girl seemed encouraged by his answer, scooting the chair closer to the table and leaning her elbows on it.

“What’s a guy like you doing texting a family member on Valentine’s Day? Alone, in a place like this?”

“I’m not actually—”

“Wouldn’t you want to join us?” The girl cut him off, nodding toward the bar counter, where a couple of other girls were eyeing into their direction. “Or you know, it could be just the two of us, if you want…” She looked him up and down, and Sirius could tell the move was much practised.

He couldn’t bother to act surprised. People were often drawn to him for his looks, and often the most confident ones found their way to him. He’d used to enjoy that, especially when the person happened to be a good-looking guy. Now he just wished to be able to reject the girl as kindly as possible.

“I’m not interested, sorry,” Sirius said. “I’m on a date, and he’s coming back in a minute, so…”

The girl raised her eyebrows. She was bending over the small table and was getting way too close for Sirius’s liking. “He? Where is _he_ then? You can’t really be gay or something?”

Sirius glared. The girl’s tone was suddenly unpleasant, yet she kept pushing more and more into Sirius’s personal space. Sirius leaned back on his chair, trying to create some distance. “I’m sorry to disappoint,” he said flatly, not bothering to play nice anymore.

“I mean look at you.” The girl outstretched her arm to touch Sirius’s, and he winced even further. “You don’t look like that lot… you’re so manly…”

“Hey.”

For the first time, Sirius wasn’t happy at all to see Remus. He’d wished the girl would be gone by the time he was back. Now he hoped Remus’s arrival would make the girl leave them be.

The girl quickly pulled her arm back hearing Remus’s voice. Remus walked straight to Sirius, barely glancing at the girl and touched Sirius’s shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“We’re fine,” the girl said before Sirius could say anything. She smiled widely as she looked up to face Remus. “We’re just chatting—oh.” Her voice faded as her mouth fell open, eyes locked on Remus's face. She blinked, seemingly speechless, before turning back to Sirius. “ _This_ is your date?”

Sirius put his hand over Remus’s, which still rested on his shoulder. “Lucky me,” he answered in an icy voice. He had a nasty feeling in his gut.

“But he’s… what’s wrong with his face?”

Sirius tensed. The girl hadn’t made the smallest effort to keep her voice down, and not only had Remus definitely heard her, but Sirius also sensed several heads turning to them. He glanced at Remus beside him and saw his shoulders were hunched, as if he was trying to make himself as small as possible, his face reddening at a decent pace.

The girl didn’t seem to realise she had said anything wrong. She eyed their reaction with a frown on her face, looking almost offended herself. “It was just a question,” she said. “I’m just wondering how’d he get like that? Looks like someone attacked him!”

“What the fuck?”

Sirius got on his feet at the same time the hand on his shoulder squeezed tighter. Sirius tried to shake him off. His chest was hot with anger now, but Remus was holding him back for nothing. He didn’t have the slightest intention to take a single step toward the girl.

But he would tell her off so hard. He could hear the girl’s friends whispering a few feet away, trying to call her back, but not intervening in the situation themselves.

“Sirius,” Remus spoke in a low voice. He kept tugging at his shoulder nervously. “Let’s go.”

“We’re not the ones that should be leaving,” Sirius said loudly, scowling at the girl. Remus gripped his other shoulder too, spinning him around.

“Just a moment. Outside. Now.”

Sirius didn’t want to let it slide so easily, but Remus seemed to be dying to get out of the situation. He grabbed his jacket and let Remus guide them across the hall to the doors, people’s heads turning as they passed by.

The cold, fresh air felt good in his lungs. Remus let Sirius go as soon as the doors closed behind them. Sirius was grateful there was no line right now to stare at them.

He was still fighting the urge to go back and demand an apology, or maybe give the girl a lecture on how it was just _not fucking okay_ to make comments like that about someone.

He took a few deep breaths while pulling his jacket over his shoulders, trying to steady his breath. He looked up after a minute, finding Remus standing right beside him, but facing down, hands deep in his pockets, kicking the ground.

“Are you okay?” Sirius asked carefully. “Look, I’m sorry for yelling, but I just couldn’t let anyone talk about you like that.”

“It’s not you,” Remus said. “But you should just drop it. I’m used to it, it’s fine.”

“How could it be fine?” Sirius argued. “People have no right… there’s nothing wrong with you! And even if there was—”

“But you know there _is_ ,” Remus said, his voice slightly raised now too. He lifted his head, looking Sirius deep in the eyes. “You know what she meant.”

Sirius felt helpless. He knew, of course he knew. He’d be lying to himself if the claimed Remus’s scars weren’t nearly the first thing he’d noted about the boy when he’d first ran into him at the library.

He had wondered, yes, and worried. Maybe he would’ve asked about them one day himself, hadn’t they been forced to bring them up now. Remus had seemed content with not acknowledging them, and as long as Remus was happy, Sirius was too. To him, they were a natural part of his face, just as his freckles were. He couldn’t pretend they weren’t there, but he definitely didn’t care.

Sirius took Remus’s face between his hands. “There is _nothing_ wrong with you,” he repeated. “No matter what she said. Does that happen often?”

“Not as much as before,” Remus said. “I mean, most people, at school at least, they are used to it by now. They know to shut up, but some still stare.”

“I’m really sorry.”

“It’s not your fault some people are assholes sometimes,” Remus offered him a warm smile. “Really… She just really took me off guard in there.”

Sirius let his gaze drop to the scars. He bit his lip, tracing his finger along the longest of them, cutting Remus’s left cheek perfectly in half. Another scar peeked from under the collar of his sweater, gone unnoticed by Sirius until that moment. He touched it lightly and wondered.

“You want to ask,” Remus said. His eyes shone in the glow of the street lamps. “How I got them.”

Sirius blushed. “No, I...”

It’s okay,” Remus said. “You are curious. I get that.”

“You don’t have to tell me.”

“But I want to.” Remus shrugged. “At some point at least. It’s not like it’s a terrible secret.”

“Did someone hurt you?” Sirius bit his tongue—but the girl's voice still rang in his ears, and as much as he disagreed with her, he couldn’t get rid of the thought. Remus shook his head lightly.

“No,” he said. “No, it was an accident, and it was a long time ago. I’m okay now.”

Sirius slid his hands on Remus’s neck and tiptoed, silently stopping a few inches away from Remus’s face to wait for permission. Remus smiled. He gave a small nod, letting Sirius close the distance and their lips met after what had felt like an eternity, despite barely being forty-eight hours. Remus’s fingers found Sirius’s hair, his teeth capturing Sirius’s bottom lip. Sirius decided he never wanted to go for that long without the feeling of it ever again.

“So,” Remus said afterwards, their faces still so close Sirius could feel his breath on his skin. “Are _you_ okay? Do you have to deal with _that_ a lot?”

“Sometimes,” Sirius sighed. “I’m fine. It’s not okay, of course… but like you said, people can be assholes.”

“Hm,” Remus pecked Sirius’s lips. “You know, I was kind of pissed too, when I saw that girl all over you like that. Wanted to put an end to it, well—at least that part worked out.”

Sirius grinned. “You felt possessive of me.”

“Possessive, protective.” Remus shrugged. He brushed his knuckles against Sirius’s cheek, and Sirius’s heart fluttered. “I have to take care of what is mine, don’t I?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on tumblr @[lovingremus](http://lovingremus.tumblr.com/) :)


	4. four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Literally just a tiny shitpost chapter, doesn't add anything to the story

The next morning.

_ 6.56 AM (Remus): I’ve got some sad news. Leonardo has melted. _

_ 8.09 AM (Sirius): nooo! our firstborn _

_ 8.09 AM (Sirius): rip leonardo _

_ 8.09 AM (Sirius): when’s the memorial? there’s gotta be a memorial _

_ 8.09 AM (Sirius): can i invite james? he was the godfather after all _

_ 8.10 AM (Sirius): i know we never really established that but we’ve already made a vow we’re gonna be each other’s babies godfathers _

_ 8.10 AM (Sirius): we’ll go through some of our most cherished memories _

_ 8.10 AM (Sirius): remember when leonardo’s hands kept falling out _

_ 8.10 AM (Sirius): and we took care of him _

_ 8.11 AM (Sirius): we had some good times didn’t we _

_ 8.11 AM (Sirius): leo will always and forever be in my heart _

_ 8.11 AM (Sirius): oh shit you’re probably in class i’m sorry i hope your phone’s on silent _

_ 8.13 AM (Sirius): okay but really just hmu with the date and time of the memorial service and i’ll be there and bring some marshmallows and hot chocolate, i’ll leave you alone now i hope your classes are nice today, see you at the library later ;) _

_ 09.45 AM (Remus): I just melted too. _


End file.
